Running in the snow sucks reindeers. Just so we’re clear.

Running in the snow sucks reindeers. Just so we’re clear.featured

Running in the snow sucks reindeers. Just so we're clear. | Dearest Geeks of EarthAfter successfully running the Hot Chocolate 5k and Turkey Trot 8k earlier this year, the Santa Hustle 5k should have been a peppermint-striped cakewalk.

Instead, it sucked reindeers.

Because snowflakes the size of howler monkeys and a course hugging the frozen lakefront that had me slowing down our usual group early on in mile 1. Once we split up I was able to start maintaining a slow but steadier pace.

Even though I couldn’t really see. Because howler monkeys in my eyelashes.

And, while there were upsides:

  • My race name: “Cool Yule” Clark.
  • Volunteer elves handing out nonpareils.
  • Wearing a long white beard.
  • Reindeer.

There were also some downsides:

  • Wearing a long white beard.
  • Lack of traction.
  • Lack of feeling in my face.

By the time I hit the beginning of mile 3, my beard had frozen to my chin in peaks like a mohawk, and staying upright became way more of a goal than any kind of PR.

I should have brought snow shoes. Or Yak Tracks. Or a sleigh.

At the end of it all, I came in at 49:03.95 with an average pace of 15:49. Jeff and the rest of our group did much better than I did – by a good 15 minutes or more – so there’s that.

At least there was post-race hot chocolate to thaw my beard.

Even if it didn’t have any liquor in it.

Photo credit: NORAD Santa Tracker

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