Before kids, it was the stuff of epic get togethers, and now… now it’s the miracle cure-all that makes your husband’s ear hair look dreamy.
After kids, your drinking style changes a little bit. Mainly because that first, sweet-faced introduction to parenthood says NOTHING about its creepy clown-faced doppelganger that lurks somewhere between he’s-looking-at-me-fights and tub poop and too many questions about mommy’s crotch hair.
Toasting to making it through the day is like a liquid hi-five, and hey, if a glass of the good stuff is what helps us parents unwind long enough to fall in love with the children all over again once they’re asleep (obviously), then I’ll drink to that. But just a little, because I’m a lightweight with balance issues.
Looks like the writers at NickMom are following suit, because you know careful “research” ensured they’re pretty spot on with these:
And while no one’s knocking a good vintage, NickMom forgot to consider us gals who like to drink a little further outside the vineyard. Not as far as moonshine outside (although I know a guy), but definitely where it’s a little more sandy and words like “vitner” and “bouquet” don’t exist.
Margaritas win at all the things, not only because they are a salt-rimmed fiesta for your face, but they automatically give you a perfectly acceptable reason for getting out of dinner duty.
Drinking them REQUIRES eating Mexican food. From out. It’s a proven fact. Don’t, and the food gods point at you and melt your face like queso fresco.
Besides, you know you’re going to have to get through the same old bedtime books later (which my child insists be read in a British accent) , and sometimes Peppa Pig looks a lot better when you picture her in your burrito first.
You know it’s true.
Photo credit: NickMom.com
I thank Collective Bias® and the Social Fabric® Community for celebrating hilarity. If we can’t laugh about the fixes parenting often finds us in, we might as well cry, and if we do that we’ll probably pee from the lack of appropriately functioning kegels. This shop (their term for campaign) has been compensated as part of a social insights study for Collective Bias. Join the conversation: #MotherFunny on Twitter and NickMom on Facebook.
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