After binge-watching Arrow, The Flash, Gotham and OITNB, I realized I completely missed out on Outlander – Starz’s sweepingly verdant, thoroughly tartan-y adaptation of Diana Gabaldon’s crazy popular book series that premiered back in August of 2014.
And since there’s no better way for a girl to ring in her fifth 30th birthday, I give you 60 thoughts I had while watching the first episode of season one:
1. I miss Scotland.
2. Heavy sigh.
3. Maybe Groupon has a good getaway deal.
4. * Googling *
5. Gah. Never mind.
6. Where’s my tartan?
8. This takes place after World War II, right?
9. Girl has a gorgeous neck. (Caitriona Balfe).
10. And stems.
11. And serious medical skills!
12. Unclench a little, Frank. (Tobias Menzies).
13. I feel like he could be a secret serial killer.
14. What’s in the vase?
15. Does she want another life? It’s because Frank’s so clenchy, isn’t it.
16. So… what does “sassenach” mean?
17. How do you say it?
18. * Googling *
19. LIKING this answer.
20. God, I love Scotland. So what if every door in this little village has blood smeared on it?
21. Best quote: “You’ll never manage the next branch on your family tree if you don’t show more industry than that.”
22. I like Claire.
23. A lot.
24. Are those the time-traveling stones?
25. Wait. Detour.
26. “Did you notice I’m perched on this dusty old kitchen table not wearing any panties?”
27. Aaaand, going down action.
28. Nicely done.
29. I like this lady.
30. He said “Outlander!”
31. So… what does it mean? Outsider? Stranger danger?
32. Old lady tea leaf reading!
33. And legit palm reading.
35. The Reverend’s housekeeper knows things.
36. * knowing look *
37. I hate it when kilt-wearing ghosts peep me too.
38. “Oh you saw a ghost wearing a tam-o’-shanter? Naturally, I’m going to need to know if you’re cheating on me.” Really, Frank? Smooth.
39. Druid dance party!
40. Celtic music is made of ethereal win.
41. Did you heart that?
42. Is it coming from the stone?!
43. DON’T TOUCH IT!
45. She’s going fall through a rip in the fabric of time now, isn’t she.
46. OMG SHE’S A TIMELORD.
47. What year is this?
48. What the hell, guy who looks like Frank! STEP OFF!
49. Aaand cue seriously heavy Scottish accents.
50. WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?!
51. WHERE IS THE CLOSED CAPTIONING?!
52. * fumbling for the remote *
53. * [gesturing] and [murmuring] *
54. REALLY?! NOT HELPING.
55. Oh, ok. I think this is Gaelic. Sounds a little like things my Granny used to say.
57. Hello, cheekbones.
59. Seriously, just keeping saying all the words.
60. All. The. Words.
Photo credits: Starz